By Margie Dillenburg

The SIV

(Seeking Investigating and Vetting)

Best of This Month. . . .

(PS Just click the pic of the podcast to link to the episodes)

Slow Down, and Make the Go. od Times Last (two episode series)

Its no secret I love Hidden Brain. However, w the nerdy experts sometimes the content gets bogged down by how boring the guest is. These two episodes are so far beyond this not being the case. I laughed, I cried, and I changed my behavior. I think about the content of these two episodes multiple times per day. 10000/10.

Catching up w Father Richard:

In this episode you hear the bells and whistles in this teacher’s voice. . . giving away his age. But you also hear the wisdom of a life where someone did the work that was his to do, and the peace from that daily practice of self-emptying. I don’t know about you, but I don’t see many (maybe any) examples of someone aging the way I want to age. He does. Everything belongs. Everything is accepted, forgiven, allowed. 10/10.

I can’t take all the dehumanizing and screaming on social media so I’m sort of off it. I feel like in an effort to RE humanize marginalized people, we DEhumanize people who don’t defend the people we think they should. Its so wildly tribal. This series talks about the stories we get caught up in - the Domination story, and the Revolution story - which in the end, are the same thing. It helped me humanize peoples’ responses to war everywhere.

Topics This Month. . . .

Buddhism -

From where I sit, it seems everyone has run themselves into the ground, and no one is happy, at least in the way that we're told we're supposed to be. It reminds me of the false "right to comfort" found in anti-racists literature. So we work harder to get more money to get more dopamine to have more dopamine crashes.

I started studying Buddhism because it gives tools to develop DEEP JOY, despite the ups and downs.

AI Ethics -

If you haven't even tried Chat GPT, OtterAI, or CrAIon, I'm concerned for you - you're not even a little curious? Will it get out of control? Will it put us all out of work? And who is working to safeguard us? I'm not *concerned, but I'm not not concerned. I guess my biggest concern is that even if we intellectually can figure out responsible limitations, do we have the discipline to implement the

Character -

I've been thinking about my own character. Vipasina you commit to not lying, speaking harsh words, stealing, sexual misconduct, or taking intoxicants. I thought about what it would look like to commit wholeheartedly to my own character in this way. . . and when do people let their character's go? It happens in inches. This is a great example of how a lie by omission turns into active deception.

August 2023 Picks

1

Hidden Brain:

Seeking Serenity I

About the intersection of neuroscience and meditation. As a trained social scientist, I love good research - but I think it can be incomplete. If you study eastern philosophy, you see how we've over indexed on rationalism, while ignoring the power of the heart.

2

Hidden Brain:

Seeking Serenity II

This is part II - it was that good that I hung in there for the second hour. I loved listening to a fellow nerd, and fellow heart person try and integrate the two. The best part was hearing the monks laughed at the scientists trying to measure the mind - not the heart.

3

Hidden Brain:

The Pleasure Paradox

In the same vein as the other two, it's how an addiction counselor got addicted - and her research on managing dopamine. In Buddhism, true happiness is not about pleasure, but deep peace. There's some comfort I've found in knowing there is a crash after pleasure. . . but deep peace endures.

4

Where Should We Begin: Donner Daddy

I love Esther, and I love listening to her untangle complicated relationships. I recently went through a friend breakup, and the other person was completely uninterested in trying to figure out how to reset. This was a beautiful example of how one couple fought through a huge betrayal.

5

6

This Tantric Life:

Allison Armstrong + Men

I'm very tempted by the men-are-trash narrative. Allison Armstrong gives counterpoints and a broadening perspective about how the testosterone-affected brain behaves differently. I like things that expand my perspective so that my compassion widens. If you've ever wanted to say men-are-trash, this is for you.

Wiser Than Me:

Fran Lebowitz

Fran Lebowitz is wiser than everyone so everyone can benefit here. The thing I like the most is her unashamed realism about herself, and realism about what she's going to change. Smoking, she's just not going to quit. Being petty? It's in her nature. But she's a brilliant wordsmith, and always ready to get better at that.

7

Learning How to See: Include and Transcend

Brian saved my faith. I was ready to quit because no answers were expansive - though I didn't have that language at the time. He is the first faith leader that not just welcomed my questions, but had well thought out framework for them. This whole season is great, but I particularly liked this episode.

8

The Emerald: How Trance States Shape the World

I sort of love podcasts that are low production value. Niche people talking about a niche area of expertise, and not trying to sell it. The Emerald is a new one I have found on consciousness - and this episode is the epidemiology of trance states - and how, since we don't have many trance rituals, we seek trance states in screen time. Spoiler: We're not on our phones this much because we care so much about our family/friends.

Thoughts this month. . .

My friend Timmy and I laugh all the time about the nature of reality. There are black holes, UFOs, powers and principalities . . . and I guess we'll go get some ice cream? Reality is so weird.


I've been thinking so is happiness. In the infamous words of Anito Montoya - "I don't think that word means what you think it means." I don't think happiness is what people think it is. The hedonic treadmill is not new, but isn't there more than fun, food, sex, pleasure, movies, and phone dopamine hits? I know there's love, but that's also dopamine. And there's the loss of love.


I think self love practitioners miss something - it's not loving yourself, like affirming how you look or how well you're handling things. . . it's developing a deep OK-ness, a deep acceptance of the tragedy of life. Forgiving life for being brutal and unfair. As the Buddhists say, "life is suffering." And after you accept all that, looking it in the face, then you can start enjoying the pleasure of life without attachment. Cause it's just the extras.


Especially after listening to the Pleasure Paradox podcast. You see how our brains seek balance, so even when we get what we want, that dopamine hit, our brains balance the hit with a dip - so with every amazing trip, we get the post trip blues. with every decadent chocolate mousse there's a sadness when it's over.


I want to develop my mind to that deep peace - the deep OK-ness. I want to, as Pema Chodren says, look suffering in its face, and still choose to enjoy. But once you make that choice, you see how everything around you is calibrated to tell you deep happiness is that next chocolate mousse. . . .


So I have started, at the very very beginning. . . again. . . with a meditation practice. It is so humbling to realize the renewing of your mind is required for the peace you seek - and that you need to begin as if you were a child. I hope I stick with it. I want to cultivate my mind, no matter the pleasure or pain that life hands me. Because it will give both in measures we can never predict.

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